Starts and Stops

A few starts and stops all lumped in together in one convenient post. First a stop: I've stopped smoking. For 69 hours, 12 minutes and 14 seconds. Not really. I'm not exactly sure how long I've been smoke free, suffice to say since Thursday night at around 9:08. I ran out of smokes and coupled with the Wellbutin I am taking (taking just because I want to be like all the cool people and be on a "mood stabilizer"), I just don't have the desire to smoke anymore. I began to hate the smell of it; how it made me smell, it didn't mix well with my Victoria Secret sparkle perfume and I grew tired of having to wash my hands, brush my teeth or dig for gum in my purse after every stinkin' cigarette. Plus, it was a pain in the ass finding a place and time while out in the world to feed the monkey lest I offend someone by violating their air space with my smoke. It's expensive and, there's the whole annoying dying of cancer thing. So, I'm all done!
I've also apparently stopped having my period. (Hi Brian! Are you slightly uncomfortable yet?). The last one I had was December 31st, happy new year to me. True that it lasted an astonishing 21 days but as of today I am 11 days late. And no I am NOT pregnant. I sheepishly purchased a test in Publix along with my depends pads and Geritol. I was certain I exceeded the age limit on actually purchasing a pregnancy test but I wanted to rule out the idea that God now hated me and was intentionally ruining my life with another leech offspring drain on my life baby. I ducked into the bathroom and peed on the stick. Praise Jesus that I only saw one line. Loved, loved, loved the whole baby stage of my life but frankly? I LIKE shopping by myself and getting a full nights sleep, sleeping in on the weekend and carrying designer purses. So, I'm assuming and hoping that I am going through menopause and soon, I will be permanently dried up and period free and Larry and I can lock our bedroom door more often. Because a period lasting 21 days doesn't make for much going on in the 'I'll show you mine if you show me yours' game.

And, I've started reevaluating the Bubble Blog. Constantly feeling guilty for not writing more and forcing myself to come up with something entertaining after my friends called in death threats to try to get me to write something. Whining some unintelligible crap like "I read you with my morning coffee every day, I look forward to it, it's boring without updates from you". "Bitch, get to writing before you get finger cancer and can't type anymore". But originally my blog was supposed to be something I could leave around for the boys to read when they grew up. A daily chronicle. Life as I saw it while they were growing. But it has turned into an obligation more than a joy. So, I'm going back to my roots, man. Back to my basic reason for writing. It might not be an interesting read every time I write but it will fulfill my desire to leave some evidence behind that despite each boy ending up with some deep seated neurosis and/or adult onset post traumatic stress disorder, I did not beat them or tie them up to a tree in the yard. Even though I sometimes wanted to. And maybe fantasized about it. Just a little.
So I will be posting more often but I can't guarantee the content. I have a few events I desperately need to blog about, Larry's birthday, racing, baseball, our Super Bore Bowl party. Not that our party was boring but that damn game was a total snore if you ask me. I want to comment on American Idol, The United State of Tara, Big Love and Desperate Housewives. Jesus, we watch a lot of TV.

And I've started to wear these (again).




The bangs are new too. But that crazy lump of hair on the top of my head is a freak of nature that isn't normally there on a day to day basis.
I posted about my "eye jewelry" a while back but I just couldn't get in the groove of wearing them. Major attack of vanity. But now it's a necessity to drive and see words in print and on stop signs. I have contacts too but these are pretty easy to just slip on and they even came with handy magnetic sunglasses!

Another good start is that Braden has been sleeping in his own bed for a while now. After Logan shot his hand he began coming in our room on a nightly basis. We eventually got him to stay out of our bed and sleep on the chase lounge chair in our room. I hope it's a trend that's here to stay.

On the weight loss front: I've reached and surpassed my original goal weight of 180 and am on to bigger (smaller?) things hoping I can be done at 170. Despite my friends warning me that I am getting "too thin" BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAAAA!!!! and they fear that I am becoming obsessed with it, I'm going for it. And I've come to terms with the fact that I will need a full body lift. I've worked too hard and come too far to not be completely pleased with how my body looks. I want to get all hot and bothered when I look at my naked self in the mirror. My lap band surgeon's brother is coincidentally a plastic surgeon specializing in post bariatric surgery body lifts. He uses an alternate type of sedation which doesn't require intubation and he is assisted by his brother during surgery so you are under half the normal amount of time. I am all for that. He requires that you be at your goal weight for one year before surgery. I am making an appointment with him for next week. I've pretty much done all I can do by myself, all of this hanging skin isn't going away by it's self and no amount of crunches or Pilate's is going to make it budge. On ward to better things yo. I mean, have you seen those bikini pictures of Star Jones? You can't tell me that as big as she was that she hasn't had a body lift. I'm ready too.